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Posts Tagged ‘Parent’s’

PARENTING SUPPORT GROUPS

Another option for parents who feel that they are getting overwhelmed coping with the demands of parenting and also the demands of a career is a parenting support group.
Parenting support groups can be a method for parents  to connect along with other parents into their community or online who are dealing with exactly the same stresses and demands and will help one another make it through the hard times.

With today’s technology, parenting organisations can be found in many forms. There might be a neighbourhood parenting support group that you want to join, or there may be an online community which you join.
Online communities can be better sometimes than local support groups because social network are offered 24/7.

Many online communities use bulletin boards where users can message each other and post messages on the board to obtain input from other parents. Online bulletin boards can be quite a smart way for moms and dads to get advice, and blow off steam if they need to. To locate some online parenting support groups, check out some parent magazine websites. Many online parenting groups will advertise on those sites that are run by the biggest selling parenting magazines.

Do you have a kid with an illness, special needs, or some other condition which has a significant effect on your life and your loved ones? Then a local support group or online support group that is dedicated to parents who have children with that condition can be a huge support for parents. It doesn’t matter what the condition is your child or children have, there is probably a support group available for moms and dads.

Joining a support group can be a smart way for parents to discover more on new treatments, exchange coping strategies, and get the support that they need to carry on.
A parenting support group, especially one that is available 24 hours a day on the Internet, can be part of a reliable support system for parents. Parents, especially single parents, need to have a strong and well-developed support system to help them cope with the demands of parenting.

Support systems for parents usually are made up of family and friends, but for parents that don’t have parental support or a lot of family to help support them; the friendship of other parents that they meet in a parenting support group can make the difference in their lives

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It is pretty simple- teens just don’t want to suffer the consequences of telling the truth. What’s the harm in a “little white lie”? A lot is at stake when it comes to our teenagers.

We can’t expect the teenager to tell us everything all the time, however, it is extremely important that we create a safe environment that encourages conversation and the opportunity to teach our adolescent child how to make good decisions. Ironically, an adolescent often doesn’t realize it’s wrong to break an agreement with their parent; they do so in an effort to prove their autonomy or to connect with peers, sometimes, almost unconsciously, because they knew you had a rule against it.

It’s fine that they are searching for their independence and defining their own identities, but at the same time, our children want guiding principles to help them in their search for independence.

Our teens need their parent’s guidance on how to make sound choices while spreading their wings.

Here’s What We As Parents Can Do To Help Prevent Our Teens From Lying to Us –

Starting Early -

 

Parents can model positive behaviors by being truthful with their children when they are young and telling them you expect the same honesty in return. If they catch you in a fib, they justify that it is okay to play the same game, but, over time, they up the ante, especially as young adolescents.

Our children are never too young to understand the concept of being honest. Unfortunately, our society adheres to the philosophy that, at times, it is truly more convenient to lie.

We rationalize that it saves the recipient from unnecessary pain or embarrassment or that it simplifies uncomfortable circumstances by minimizing the process of explaining one’s point of view.

What’s wrong with telling the truth?

It is the projection of how the other person is going to receive the information.

Isn’t that really the case with dishonesty?

Are we not more concerned with the receipt of the information than the delivery? That is exactly the root of problem with our teens sharing the truth. They are hesitant because they don’t want to deal with the reaction to the truth. Teens, like adults, lie for a number of reasons in an effort to avoid confrontation or evade a consequence imposed by their parents.

Let’s identify four of the reasons we, as parents, encourage our kids to lie to us.

1: We Freak Out

No wonder the teen has chosen to go silent when their experience of telling the truth results in us launching off into ranting and raving about the ignorance and carelessness of their actions.

The knee-jerk reaction is to impose consequences or, at the very least, point out how they have made a gross error in judgment. Now, honestly, how excited would you be if every time you shared a new adventure with someone, they scoffed at you? There is a direct correlation between a strict parent or an overly opinionated parent and the degree of dishonesty they will receive from their budding teen.

I believe the overly strict parent, in a genuine effort to curb their teen’s risk of making bad decisions, only fuel the fire. At this age, it is the job, the duty, of the teen to push their limits. They want to challenge their boundaries at every opportunity. It is the parent’s role to establish clearly defined boundaries, based on rational guidelines, and then support the child to make good decisions within the framework of those boundaries.

If you are going to error, I advocate in the direction of listening to your teen about their interest in drinking, for example, and identify the risks and consequences of their decision, rather than encouraging them to be dishonest and put them in greater harms way by forcing them to make decisions from fewer choices available to them that may lead to deception and compromise their health, their safety, and their well being.

For years, I’ve coached parents several ways to stop, listen, reflect, and question without sounding authoritative and provide an environment that encourages dialogue and ownership of the decision making process.

Remember when we used to say to our young children, “It’s very cold outside. Do you think you need a jacket?” The choice was theirs. It is the same principle but, whether we like it or not, now it comes with higher stakes.

The toughest part for most parents is to listen to their teens, respect their point of view, identify a rational reasoning process, and then let them decide for themselves.

2: Practice what you Preach –

If you drink without regard to acceptable limits or moderation, then they will believe the same holds for them. If you demonstrate to them that lying to the door to door salesman is easier or stretching the truth with your friends to ease your own discomfort is okay, they will do the same.

Whether we like it or not, our children are a reflection of who we are. Setting a good example is critical to establishing reasonable boundaries for your teens. If you demonstrate little regard for the rules you establish for your teens, they will place little value on them, too. Simply calling the trump card is not enough; teens, by and large, won’t honor a rule based entirely on the fact that you are their parent and that is the way it is. You will get further if you practice what you preach.

3: Adult Responsibilities come with the Privileges, too –

A teen once told me that his parents expect him to carry his own weight by holding down several jobs. They have taught him to be quite responsible; however, they treat him like a child with curfews and ground rules unfitting a responsible young adult.

Let your teen prove them self.

Take baby steps if necessary but match the level of responsibility you require of them with the level of freedom you grant them to make rational decisions. Wouldn’t you rather be involved in the decision making process now when you are available to coach them rather than having them learn it on their own when they go off to college? As they learn from both good and bad experiences by holding down a job, let them have the same experiences with making decisions in their personal life. That’s the challenge facing most parents of teens but is well worth it in the end.

The Center for Effective Parenting recommends that parents, “discuss why telling the truth is important… telling the truth lets other people know that they can be trusted.”

4: Rules that are Embraced by Teens are Essential –

I don’t think there is a human being alive that gets excited about a restriction that is imposed upon them without having an opportunity for their input.

Developing a process where the teen has an opportunity to take ownership in the family agreements will result in greater adherence than those that are imposed arbitrarily. Granted, there may be rules that the teen may not agree with initially but it is essential that parent’s take the time to rationalize the thought process behind the ground rule. This may require a willingness on both sides to start with a ground rule and be open to renegotiating down the road.

Consideration should be given to the demonstration of the teen’s adherence to the ground rule in a responsible way. Should a new ground rule meet with resistance, begin with a starting point, define a pattern of behavior that would demonstrate responsibility, and establish a timeline for renegotiation where both parties can embrace the ground rule.

Freedom is greatest when the boundaries are drawn.

When I coach parents and teens, I like to promote clearly defining boundaries, establishing agreements that are embraced by both parent and child, and creating a safe environment where honesty and mutual respect is honored.

Parenting teenagers is not an easy task. So, now we know why teens lie to parents, what are you going to do to help you and your teen life a happier… more fulfilled… (and more honest) life? If you are parenting a teenager, today is the time to take action to start setting your teen on the path to success and honesty.

Mark Hughes is an engaging, inspiring, down to earth Parenting and Teen life coaching expert that walks the walk, teaching from his own experiences as a parent and life coach.

In 1994, Mr. Hughes founded a non-profit organization call The Satori Institute with the purpose of making family education more readily available to all segments of the general public.

He is certified as a Family Wellness Instructor and with The International Network for Children and Families as an instructor for their curriculum, Redirecting Children’s Behavior.

Mark specializes in helping newly single parents cope with their new responsibilities and roles as single parents. As a divorced parent himself, Mark provides a unique point of view and insight to newly divorced parents.

In addition, Mark helps teens craft their vision for their the future and helps them lay out the groundwork for striving for and reaching their dreams and goals.

Mark is in his final stages of his new book, “From Our Point of View: The Parent and The Teen, ‘Preparing yourself for independence’.”

Visit http://www.beyourverybest.org for more parenting teens advice, articles, and coaching.

 

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• Problems Between Parents And Teens (1)

Fred and Kate clashed constantly over how to parent their six year-old son, Jerry.

 

“Kate lets Jerry get away with murder.” complained Fred. “It’s anarchy!”

 

“Fred’s always on Jerry’s case.” Kate countered. “He jumps on Jerry for the slightest infraction.”

 

Fred saw Kate’s parenting style as soft while Kate saw Fred’s parenting style as harsh.

 

As the three of us talked in my office, it quickly became clear to me that Fred and Kate had polarized. Fred had become the always-tough parent while Kate had become the always-tender parent.

 

They had driven each other to opposite extremes and this made it impossible for them to function together as an effective parenting team. They were battling over parenting styles, frequently dismissing and sometimes even undermining each other.

 

How did all this effect little Jerry? Sometimes he was confused about where the

Boundaries of acceptable behavior lay and so he would act out to test the limits. Other times, he would try to divide and conquer, to pit one parent against the other in a ploy to get his way.

 

Sound familiar? It might. A high percentage of parents polarize around parenting styles and fight “the parenting wars.” Usually, these battles are over tough parenting versus tender parenting, as with Fred and Kate.  If clashes like this ever happen in your marriage or in the marriage of someone you know, read on.

 

 

1. Insight. The best parenting style for your child is a combination of toughness and tenderness.

If one of you is the tough parent and the other the tender parent, your child needs the best that both of you have to offer.

 

There are times when your child needs toughness, like when he/she is being flagrantly disobedient or disrespectful. There are other times when your child needs tenderness, like when he/she is whining because of feelings of insecurity.

 

Often, your child needs some combination of toughness and tenderness.

 

Tip: Have a conversation with each other in which you recall situations in the past when each of these was effective: toughness, tenderness, or a combination of both.

2. Insight. Your child will feel most secure if you resolve your parenting differences in private and present a united front.

 

To feel secure, your child needs for the two of you to send a single, unified message about which behaviors are acceptable and which are not.

 

The last thing your child needs is to see the two of you fighting over what is and is not acceptable behavior and how to manage him/her. This is a sure-fire recipe for instilling insecurity in your child.

Tip. When you disagree with each other about how to respond to misbehavior, get behind closed doors and don’t come out until you’ve agreed about what to do.

 

When your child misbehaves, you may need to put your child in time out while you privately decide which parenting approach best fits the misbehavior: tough, tender, or a combination of both. From there you should be better able to choose an appropriate consequence.

 

 

3. Insight. What keeps you fighting “the parenting wars” is likely a negative interaction pattern in which you’ve both become ensnared.

 

The most common negative interaction pattern around parenting is the oscillating

Criticize- withdraw cycle. In this pattern you both go back and forth criticizing each other and defending until eventually the two of you withdraw from each other.

 

Each of you then becomes more deeply entrenched in your own position and less able to see the value in the other’s position. You begin to parent independently of each other, each of you doing your own thing.

 

The result- A confused child who acts out more and more!

 

Tip: Escape the oscillating criticize-withdraw cycle be talking about the emotions that lie beneath your surface anger and frustration.

For example, you both might be feeling devalued. It may seem to each of you that the thoughts you have about parenting don’t matter to the other.

 

At a deeper level you both may be thinking, “If my views about parenting don’t matter to my spouse, then maybe I don’t matter.”

 

Talk about these feelings that you don’t count for much with each other. Reassure each other that you really do matter and that your viewpoints on parenting also matter.

 

As you do, chances are you’ll connect at the heart level and each of you will feel more valued by the other. Then you’ll be better able to team up to integrate your tough and tender parenting styles.

 

Having this conversation is very difficult for many couples. If you’re having trouble discussing this, consider seeking professional marriage counseling.

The primary approach that I use in my marriage counseling practice, Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT), is particularly effective at helping couples to break free from negative interaction patterns by carrying on a deeper dialogue with each other.

 

 

4. Insight. Together learn a unified parenting approach that balances toughness and tenderness.

doing this will help you to function more effectively as parenting a team.

 

Tip: Together take the Love and Logic parenting class, developed by Foster Cline and Jim Fay.

This class is offered all across the country to parents who want to learn to parent more effectively by combining love and logic, or tenderness and toughness.

 

A superb Love and Logic instructor in Boulder is Stephanie Bryan, LCSW

 

 

Remember, if you and your spouse continue to fight “the parenting wars” neither one of you will win and your child will surely lose.

 

In their marriage counseling with me, I was able to help Fred and Kate stop battling over their different parenting styles and start balancing toughness and tenderness.

 

The result was that they became more effective parents and Jerry became a better behaved child.

Available Scholarships for Single Parents To Improve their Style of Living In The USA

A family with a single parent as the head of the family is growing in numbers every year. This is said to be caused by parental breakup and unwanted pregnancies. Women are more affected in this situation than men because of the tremendous task of feeding the family and nurturing them emotionally at the same time.  

Families with a single mom are commonly seen in areas wherein unemployment is rampant. Sometimes teenage single mothers are forced to stop their education because no one will take care of their kids and they need to earn to support them. Most single mothers have a lower income capacity.

Because of the increasing rate of single parents, the government, state, and various universities and colleges offers scholarship for single parents especially female single parents who are determined to improve their earning potential, fund for their dorm fees, tuition fees and other related educational expenses.

The primary vision and mission of offering scholarships for single parents are not only to improve the single head future income capacity but also to give hope, improve their confidence and to have determination for their own good and their children.

Scholarship for single parents usually covers the tuition fees, books and other related educational expenses of the successful candidates. Some source of scholarships for single parents also provided restrictions to those who want to avail the scholarships.

Scholarship for single parent are only limited to single parents students with least one dependent child who really needs financial help. A single parent who get a scholarship should not marry during the terms of the scholarship grant.

Single parent students who has the support of her family (willing to take care kids while the parents are in school), may avail of scholarships for single parent full-time. For those single parents who cannot leave their children easily (if they have special kids) may avail of scholarships for single parent that offer part-time class load requirements.

Single parent students covered by scholarships for single parents are being trained to enhance their skills on writing, interpersonal communication and computer. Single parent students are also taught of the learning techniques for success and career exploration.

There is also some sources of scholarships for single parents who are strict in regards to the grade requirement. Every single parent who has been awarded of scholarship for single parent are required a passing grade of 2.5 grade-point averages while others require a 3.0 GPA. There are scholarships that ask for repayment too.

Some scholarships for single parents are strict with regards to the attendance. Single parents are advised to look for scholarships that will give them convenience because they are playing double roles at their home.

There are many courses and programs that single parent may enroll and choose from. Scholarships for single parents are extended to the following courses: accounting course, business courses, computer courses, interior design, health services and office management. A single parent who is good in numbers may choose the accounting course.

Single parents who have the desire to continue their education but lack the financial aid may search for scholarships for single parents online at the websites of universities and colleges or even government websites. You may also call or visit some colleges to check if they are offering scholarship fora single parent like you.

Government and states are also offering scholarships for single parents. Single parents are awarded the amount of tuition, books and dorm for two years until they finish their graduate program.

Single parents who decide to pursue their education must explain to their children the benefit of finishing their studies. Enlighten your childrens’ mind that before you achieve the success both of you must sacrifice for your time will be divided between your studies, work and them.

There is also scholarship for single parents who are aiming to help not only the single students but also their children. This kind of scholarship program facilitates services for their students by taking care of the children while the parent students are in school. This kind of scholarships are limited depending on the funds of the donors of the scholarships.

This kind of scholarship for single parents benefited not only the single parents but also the child itself. They send and educate their single parent student children into preschool and in public school. They also provide childcare for children from 12 months through school age.

College Parents Guide to the 8 Types of Student Loans

Last year at this time, we were frantically looking for information on the different types of student loans.  Unfortunately we could find bits and pieces on various websites, but nothing as complete as we needed.  This gave me the motivation to provide for others what we couldn’t find. You will, after reading this article know exactly what the 8 different types of student loans are and if you should pursue them or not.  Now, let’s start reading.

Student Loans: 8 Types

* Federal Stafford Loan (2 types: subsidized-unsubsidized)
* PLUS Federal Loans (Parent Loan for Undergraduate Students)
* Perkins Loans
* Bank Loans
* State Loans
* Additional Unsubsidized Stafford Loan
* Loans from other sources
* College Board Extra Credit Loan

You can start looking for the various types of student loans that fit your needs but you can’t apply for them until you have successfully submitted your application to FAFSA.  You will receive a Student Aid Report and that is what your lenders will base your loan on. Once FAFSA sends you your Student Aid Report (SAR) then you can start looking for the best student loans available for you and your child..

1.  Subsidized Stafford Loans - no doubt the most popular loan available today. The reason is simple- both undergraduate and graduate students have access to these government loans and they guarantee them.

***Student Loans Secrets***
These rates are for subsidized loans to undergraduate students.

  * 6.0% for the 2008-09 school year
  * 5.6% for the 2009-10 school year
  * 4.5% for the 2010-11 school year
  * 3.4% for the 2011-12 school year
  * returns back to 6.8% for the 2012-13 school year.

My wife recieved this loan, but they didn’t give her enough so she had to find another loan from Discovery Student Loans.  Our son was not granted permission for a subsizided loan and he had to get the unsubsidized loan.

One other point of interest that you need to know is that each year you will need to re-apply to FAFSA for your loans.  January 1st is the day you can submit your applications and it is first come first served.

2.  Stafford Usubsidized Federal Loan – if you do not receive a subsidized loan you’ll almost always receive one of these.  They can be long term loans but you will need to make monthly interest payements.  With our son we set up a automatic withdrawl from our checking account for 10 dollars that covers the interest and a small amount of the principal.

***Student Loans Secrets***

Students who are working while attending college, negotiate with your lender to make monthly payments and round up to the nearest tens. If your interest is 8 dollars a month pay 10 dollars which shouldn’t be that hard.  Any time you can pay on the principal the better.

3.  PLUS Federal Loans – this loan is for parents who want to pay for their childs college education and receive some tax benefits. Even if you have poor credit this might be the loan for you.  Other benefits of this loan include low interest rates and the ability to receive the entire amount of the college education.

***Student Loans Secrets***
You can negiotate repayment of your PLUS loan. Chose from graduation date repayments or start 60-90 days after the loan money.

4.  Perkins Loans - students will find out quickly that these loans are limited, but if you are having financial difficulties this is the type of loan you should look for.  You can expect competitive interest rates that are low.

***Student Loans Secrets***

Federal Perkins Loans are reported to your credit bureau.  Do it right and you will have an excellent credit rating.  Default or late on payments will spell trouble.  Be very careful.
 
5.  Bank Loans – search hard because you might be able to find a stafford loan through a bank, but be ready for some stuff rules and regulations.  Most students turn to banks loans only after they have been turned away by the government.

***Student Loans Secrets***

Banks might limit their loans to full time students and repayment options will be limited.  However you might find some incentives on re-payments of your student loans.

6.  State Student Loans – you will need to visit your local bank to pick up an application.  Most states offer a guaranteed student loan but the banks will adminsterd your funds.

***Student Loans Secrets***

These types of student loans are usually more expensive to borrow from when you compare them to federal loans.

7.  Additional Unsubsidized Stafford Loan - These types of student loans are determined
by the federal guidelines and are reserved for borrowers who fall into the “independent
category.

8.  Other types of student loans – look at all your options and discuss these with your fiancial aid advisors at school.  Military dependents, corporations and businesses will offer student assistance. Don’t be araid to ask.

Additional Website Bonus

There is one place that will pay your tuition fees if you can repay them within a year.  Affiliated with around 2000 universities, Academic Management Services offer student asstance, but be ready for some expensive rates.  These funds should only be used in dire emergencies.

As you have read, each of the top 8 types of student loans offers a variety of options for those of you who need help and support.  The federal government is your best option but if you don’t quality you now have several options available. 

I can’t stress the importance of submitting to FAFSA in January of each year. Once you receive your SAR then you can get down to business and find the type of student loans that meets your needs.

By filing for support and establishing a support order, parents can collect payments beyond when a child reaches the age of 18. One of my client was astonished when she began receiving payments and her children where the ages 24 and 28. She had given up but I explained that she did what millions of custodial parents have failed to do and that is to establish a support order. It is very important that when a parent fails to be responsible financial for his/her children, it is then important to file for child support.

When a custodial parent is in the system, regardless of if the noncustodial parent pays or not, an arrear is established and payment will follow when the system finds the parent. I first recommend that both parents discuss what is a fair payment and work together to raise their children. In some cases, this is the best situation and both parents actually do what they say they would do. However, when the noncustodial parent does not live up to the agreement, the next step is to file with the child support enforcement system. I only recommend this because it begins to establish a record of payment and nonpayment and this can work in the favor of both parents, if paid on time.

When asked the question to custodial parents who have not filed for support in the system, why they have not filed, most parents respond that they do not want the father in their children lives. Others respond that the system does not work so why bother. My response is always the same, the system works if you know how to work the system and a child needs the financial support of both parents. I then divulge the biggest secret of the system, financial support of a child has nothing to do with visitation; the two are separate. However, it is then when delving further into the reason why most parents do not rely on the system, most begin to see why it is important to establish record by entering into the system.

One of the biggest fallacies of the child support system for custodial parents is that it does not work. The system works as mentioned before; however, it is the parents in the system that causes it to not to be as functional as it was designed to be. If both parents put first the needs of their children, are being responsible financially, spiritually, and socially and both are actively involved in their children lives then the need of the children are taken care of. The system then works. However, on the other hand, when one parent takes advantage and does not pay, then it becomes harder to enforce the established support order. Moreover, there are some improvement that needs to be made such as making payments accountable for the needs of each child in the system.

One of my clients is very vexed with the system because they cannot find the father. She has given her caseworker his address which is in another state but the caseworker insist that he lives in the same state that she lives in. For over one year, she has not been able to locate the parent. Even though he calls and speaks to his son periodically, he will not give her an address. Therefore, I explain to my client that it is not the system; it is the parent that evades or is reluctant to pay child support. My suggestion to her is to keep the case open and continue to get as much information from the father as possible to report to her caseworker.

When a noncustodial parent does not work a regular job or has his/her own business, it is easy for them to evade and manipulate the system. It is not only their responsibility as a parent to financial support their children, it is also important that they are actively involved in the live of their children. When custodial parents say that they do not want the other parent in their children lives, I explain that is a selfish notion and it should be up to the children. Most parents are emotionally involved with the other parent and the reason for the breakup in the first place is the motivating factor why the relationship is estranged. The relationship that ensues between a mother and a father is different between parents and their children. Only in extreme cases such as the other parent will harm a child shall a parent be restricted from seeing his/her child.

When encountering the child support system, both parents, custodial and noncustodial parent will face four stages: locate the noncustodial parent, establish paternity, establish order and enforce order. Each stage is important and should not be avoided. Sometimes a support order can be established in as short as three months, and others can take years. The more information a parent has to provide to their casework, the quicker and simpler the process becomes. Lack of information such as the address of the other parent or where the other parent works can delay the process.

Filing for support for your children is very important. The financial support that children receive from the other parent is very instrumental in caring and providing for the needs of our children. When custodial parents do not file, they are allowing noncustodial parents to shirk their responsibility. I recommend to parents who say that they do not want the money to open a trust account and save the money and have it available upon graduation from college to their children to provide a fresh start into life.

Here are a few steps to start your order:

o Call your local child support enforcement office to schedule an appointment to open your case. 
o Gather as much information as possible regarding the noncustodial parent such as name, birth date, social security number, address, work name and address, telephone number and each child’s name and social security number. 
o Bring in birth certificate of each child. 
o It may cost to start your case if you are not receiving government assistance. 
o Be patient and contact your caseworker on a regular base to get an update on your case. Whenever you receive additional information on the noncustodial parent, provide the information to your caseworker.

There are no reasons why custodial parents should not file for child support or any reasons why noncustodial parents should shirk their responsibility to their children. It is vital that a support order is establish to keep a record of the amount the noncustodial parent should pay. In cases where payments are not received, the system keeps a record and the amount never goes away until the amount is paid or settled by both parents. Our children deserve both parents’ financial support as well as both parents actively involved in their lives.

Dawnette Lounds-Culp
Publisher/Author
The Face of Child Support
http://www.angeleyespublishingco.com

 

ABSTRACT

The importance of parental involvement as an accelerating and motivating factor in their children’s education is a worldwide-accepted fact. This research project provides an in depth explanation along with specific reasons, the importance of parents’ involvement in their children’s education. It also discusses the parenting techniques, their types and their consequences if neglected. It also describes the ways to measure the outcome of the positive parental involvement. Furthermore, it mentions the teachers involvement and the difficulties faced by the teachers in getting parents involved in their children’s (this is further supported by the examples of two teachers who with their deliberate efforts won the parents over to devote their maximum attention towards their children), single-parent involvement, children’s own efforts to improve their academic levels and joint home-school based interventions. A detailed analysis of the different main ideas is given, based on the findings from other research surveys and projects.

INTRODUCTION:

Parental involvement can be seen to fall into three types: 1) Behavioral, 2) Intellectual and 3) Personal. The research explores the effect of multi-dimensional participation of parents and the resulting progress of children in their studies when different parental resources were dedicated to them. Actively participating parents help their children in their academic development by going to schools and participating in open houses. By keenly observing the behavior of their children they can rightly judge the kind of behavior or the allocation of resources required by their children. Such caring parents can also motivate teachers to become more attentive towards a particular student, thus maintaining the cycle of parent-teacher involvement. Encourage Building up cognitive and perception abilities in a child are a major concern in the upbringing of the child. The way the parents involve their children in cognitive learning is by exposing them to different cognitively stimulating activities and materials such as books, electronic media and current events at home. This helps the child to practice all sorts of language comprehending skills at the school. The results show a remarkably positive behavior at the school and with peers.

Two parenting processes namely the Supportive Parenting (SP) and Harsh Parenting (HP) helped a lot in the research of parental involvement in their children’s education. By adjusting the levels of supportive parenting, different levels of successful outcomes were observed. Supportive parenting in even kindergarten students yielded positive results. Four measures of supportive parenting were used in the study, they were:

1. Proactive teaching.

2. Calm discussion in disciplinary encounters.

3. Warmth.

4. Interest and involvement in peer activities.

The assessments were conducted when children entered kindergarten and when they reached grade 6. There was a factor noted to hinder children’s development: family adversity. It was the result of a multipurpose negative process that included the risk of low socio-economic status, single-parenting and family stress. Child maladjustments were found to be more common in families with such adversities. No matter how much negative impacts were cast, SP was found to overcome the risks associated with family adversity. SP was strongly related to adjustment procedures in grade 6 children who had single parent family or experienced low socio-economic status (SES) in their early childhood.

In a way to socialize their children, parents adopted the techniques of calm discussion and proactive teaching. They helped lessen the behavioral problems by carrying long discussions with their children, cultivating in them a sense of respect, calmness and peace of mind. Mothers also participated actively in reducing the peer stress among their children. It is also a widely accepted fact that supportive parenting plays an important role in the children’s development of empathy, prosocial behavior and emotional competence. On the negative side, the absence of supportive parenting may be related to the development of internal problems such as anxiety and depression.

Lack of the necessary parental care and attention is the main factor for the subsequent rise in the percentage of juvenile delinquency (crime among children). The absence of parental instructions causes children to develop irreversible behavioral and emotional problems. They in order to seek attention, resort to crimes thinking that in this way they could fulfill their wishes. They may revert to uncontrolled violence if not kept an eye upon. Such criminal activities cannot be brought to a halt until their distressing symptoms of low self-esteem, depression, dysphonic mood, tension and worries, and other disturbances are relieved. And the importance of parents’ role in this regard cannot be over-emphasized.

In an effort to describe parental involvement, many researchers use a term “Transition”(Lombardi, Joan). “Transition” is used to describe the time period in which children move from home to school, from school to after school activities, from one activity to another within a pre-school, or from pre-school to kindergarten. The untiring endeavors of teachers in the phenomenon of transition cannot be ignored. They prepared the children and their parents to face the problems of adjusting to elementary school programs that had different psychology, teaching styles and structure than the programs offered at the kindergarten level. In the elementary level schools the teachers had to face serious challenges in motivating the parents to take interest in their children’s activities. The teachers adopted different methods to involve the parents in day-to-day classroom and home activities. They used to send notes, invitation of parent-teacher meetings, invitation of parental guidance sessions and training sessions, continuously directing the parent’s attention towards their children. Patricia Brown Clark suggests that it is very important to keep the line of communication between teachers and parents open, so that the parents can interact with the teachers and get up to date information of their children’s school activities. One way to involve parents is to schedule school events and arranging classroom activities such as volunteering for libraries, acting as classroom aides or efficiently organizing lunch breaks. The teachers also opt for making phone calls at the children’s houses to keep in touch with the parents and getting to know the extent to which they are contributing towards the welfare of their children. Apart from the above activities, the teachers also assign home activities for both the parents and their children so that the parents remain indulged in their children and the children get to study at home. However, it was a bad and disappointing experience for the teachers when many of the parents failed to respond as expected. Many of the parents were so overwhelmed with their official work that they could hardly take out some time for their beloved children.

Moreover, for some parents their schoolings were not positive and character-boosting experiences, therefore they preferred to keep a distance from their children’s school as well. This made it really difficult and at times impossible for teachers to bring the parental involvement to the desired level. Nevertheless, the activities of two teachers proved greatly fruitful in making parents involved in their children. They were Carlos Valdez, an art teacher and 8th grade class sponsor, and Mike Hogan, the school’s band director. They did it by involving parents in music festivals and other school ceremonies. They proved to be great examples for the future teachers to come.

If the children’s academic development programs are to prove successful they must share two characteristics:

1) Developmentally appropriate practice:

A child’s academic progress is clearly reflected by the appropriate practice he/she administers while in school life. During transitions from pre-school to kindergarten, a child if given the exact developmentally appropriate practice tends to learn a great deal of language and playing skills. He develops a keen interest in exploring his environments and interacting (without hesitation) with his adults.

2) Supportive services:

These include the assistance that the school provides to low-income family students. The services include health care, childcare and community care. This strengthens the relation between school and children and creates a sense of security and confidence among the children. They get to learn that their communities are a part of their school since the school’s supportive services strive to help community development.

It is commonly believed that children are good self-teachers. Their self-initiated strategies help improve their expression, creativity, intellectual capabilities and extra-curricular skills. This idea is proved by the documentation of young children’s work provided by Reggio Emilia :

“The Reggio Emilia educators highlight young children’s amazing capabilities and indicate that it is through the unity of thinking and feeling that young children can explore their world, represent their ideas, and communicate with others at their highest level.”(Edwards, Pope. C, Springate, Wright.K)

The climax rests in the fact that how the parents would know that their sincere involvements are really proving worthwhile for their children. The

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