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Archive for the ‘Parenting’ Category

Do you need the finest and informational resources to help you in getting the educational parenting for the separated parents? Well, this Txparent.com becomes the right place for you to get the value information about this and of course this one can be the right and best place for you to make your children happy even though you have been separated from your husband or your wife. This education is so important for you to create the happy children. They have dedicated themselves to help the separated parents to take care of their children. Parenting is the important part of family to raise their children and of course when you have separated from your husband or your wife, it can also influence your children.

Therefore, they are here to help you giving the education for the separated parents. Their children can still be happy even though their parents have been separated. Through the right way, parents can take care of their children so that they can also raise their children in two homes. The Texas divorce parenting class is the right education for you to make your children happy and to know how to raise them well. As children also need time together with their both parents, therefore you also need to know how to handle it. This class is conducted in 90 minutes of sessions and there are also licensed therapists who will teach the program to the separated parents. There are so many people who have participated and joined in this class and they have been succeeding to raise their children in two homes.

This 4 hours class is conducted for the separated parents and this is provided at the affordable price so that they can take cares their children and make them happy. This online course can be easily joined if you have registered. So, if you are interested to participate in this class, just register now.

PARENTING SUPPORT GROUPS

Another option for parents who feel that they are getting overwhelmed coping with the demands of parenting and also the demands of a career is a parenting support group.
Parenting support groups can be a method for parents  to connect along with other parents into their community or online who are dealing with exactly the same stresses and demands and will help one another make it through the hard times.

With today’s technology, parenting organisations can be found in many forms. There might be a neighbourhood parenting support group that you want to join, or there may be an online community which you join.
Online communities can be better sometimes than local support groups because social network are offered 24/7.

Many online communities use bulletin boards where users can message each other and post messages on the board to obtain input from other parents. Online bulletin boards can be quite a smart way for moms and dads to get advice, and blow off steam if they need to. To locate some online parenting support groups, check out some parent magazine websites. Many online parenting groups will advertise on those sites that are run by the biggest selling parenting magazines.

Do you have a kid with an illness, special needs, or some other condition which has a significant effect on your life and your loved ones? Then a local support group or online support group that is dedicated to parents who have children with that condition can be a huge support for parents. It doesn’t matter what the condition is your child or children have, there is probably a support group available for moms and dads.

Joining a support group can be a smart way for parents to discover more on new treatments, exchange coping strategies, and get the support that they need to carry on.
A parenting support group, especially one that is available 24 hours a day on the Internet, can be part of a reliable support system for parents. Parents, especially single parents, need to have a strong and well-developed support system to help them cope with the demands of parenting.

Support systems for parents usually are made up of family and friends, but for parents that don’t have parental support or a lot of family to help support them; the friendship of other parents that they meet in a parenting support group can make the difference in their lives

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PARENTING

   

Parenting is a great experience of joy, laughter and fun as it helps one to passionately re-live and experience wonderful moments of childhood.  But it is demanding as well and even more so with lack of certain skills.

If parents choose to help their child with emotional development and life skills such as love, trust, confidence, self esteem, empathy alongside their education, then it might be useful for the parents to continuously enhance their knowledge and skills to fulfil their obligation in a much more resourceful way.

As parents, one is seen as the immediate role model by the child. A child feels secured when their parents understand their feelings through the connection of love which establishes trust in the child’s mind. The child becomes more comfortable and is open to express his feelings in times of discomfort. Consequently, the child uses those lessons as a basis of reference to build relationships with others.

But how often do you feel, as parents, that you really want to enrich the lives of your child with proper nutrition/skills but you feel that you are limited in resources or just feel helpless in coping with certain demands or attitude of your child?

    Looking for ways to teach these skills to your children that are fun and engaging?    

The reason could well be literacy skills. However, reading a good book passively on life skills and emotional development is just potential knowledge. Applying these skills to deal with challenging situations with children is what counts. For example a child’s misbehaviour may be addressed by making them aware of the consequences without the parents being too harsh or negative. But if parents are neither reading any book nor willing to make a mental shift to acquire more skills, then the likelihood of giving some of the life basic learning skills could be challenging at the early formative stage to their child.

As a result, Kidz4Mation has created a series of developmental resources in the form of easy to follow children’s books which may be easily read by parents to their child. The books can help teach core values and skills in helping to raise happy, positive, well-balanced, well-rounded and successful children. These picture books include notes for parents and children respectively to develop the theme or skill in discussion.

In addition the following skills could be useful tips to make parenting easier for parents:-

Availability – Gift of time is biggest gift parents can give a child because a child wants time and love not money from their parents.

Acceptance – This requires great courage from parents but accepting the children as they are can help you, as parents, in keeping them happy.  How important is it for parents to put child needs ahead of theirs and therefore learning to be selfless parents?

Appreciation – This is something that everyone craves for. All human beings want approval. It is very important for you as a parent to appreciate children publicly and criticise privately. Children often misbehave because they want attention from their parents. Parents have to be assertive within limits, and ensure that the appreciation is appreciated!

    Like to develop more gratefulness in your children?    

Teaching what we preach

Parents would always want to do the right thing for their children. However, there are things that parents do not do as a result of procrastination or indifference.  But parents would love their children to develop good habits.  But most of the times it is challenging to get certain children to do certain things that you are unwilling to do as parents. In other words, as a role model it is important to teach what you as parents preach.

Sometimes, as parents, how do you feel when you tell your child to do something which you are not doing yourself? Now just imagine for a moment how the child would react knowing that you, as parents, are asking them to do something that you are not doing?  Because remember that you as parents are the source of inspiration for your child.      Would you like your child to think they can do things rather than see them as huge obstacles?    

As parents, the way you talk, behave and act will have a significant influence on your child. In other words, you, as parents, are being emulated by your child and your child will simply like to do those things that they see you doing on a daily basis. However there are certain things that your child has to do which you, as parents, ought to reinforce and ensure that they do. Therefore it is important for the parent to let the child do whatever they are passionate about and have a real interest in.

Rewarding and celebrating the moments with your child

Many parents are so engaged in their daily routines and very often they take little things for granted and even forget to reward a small action. It is important to note that these little things make a huge difference to a child. In other words, when a child takes action and does well, it is paramount to reward the child as it motivates the child and make him/her feel important and confident too to take more action next time. This small reward starts building a good metaphor in the mind of the child that every time he does something well, he will get a treat or a word of encouragement.  It is the small or little things done on a consistent basis daily turn out to become a big thing.

We as parents are human beings after all and not human doing and deep inside we are children. As a result, as parents, we have to motivate ourselves and then take care and motivate our children and encourage them to be self reliant and take their decision within limit. We, as parents, should not be over protective or too possessive nor too much in control over them.

At this point, it is good to know that learning to change ourselves, as parents, and taking charge of our lives and managing our emotions will help us to be more resourceful to manage our children and have a great relationship with them.

Self-reliance

While nurturing a child, it is helpful that you, as parents, make your child become self-reliant from an early age and instil in him all the virtues through the consistent effort of habits creation on a daily basis. This will enable the child to start shaping his personality traits and lead to build and have his own identity. This will also gradually help him to realise what they really like to do. Obviously all these are possibly easier to achieve through constant support from parents and a lot of patience and perseverance is required from parents to hand hold the child.

In other words, self reliance will lead to make the child become independent from early childhood and he will probably be in a good position as adult where he will probably be better equipped to take responsibility. As the saying goes, “it is better to teach a child how to catch a fish, instead of giving him a fish’. This is a basic philosophy that teaches the child how to manage on his own as he grows and also for the rest of his life whereas by just giving a fish, he will not be able to survive on his own.

www.kidz4mation.com

It is pretty simple- teens just don’t want to suffer the consequences of telling the truth. What’s the harm in a “little white lie”? A lot is at stake when it comes to our teenagers.

We can’t expect the teenager to tell us everything all the time, however, it is extremely important that we create a safe environment that encourages conversation and the opportunity to teach our adolescent child how to make good decisions. Ironically, an adolescent often doesn’t realize it’s wrong to break an agreement with their parent; they do so in an effort to prove their autonomy or to connect with peers, sometimes, almost unconsciously, because they knew you had a rule against it.

It’s fine that they are searching for their independence and defining their own identities, but at the same time, our children want guiding principles to help them in their search for independence.

Our teens need their parent’s guidance on how to make sound choices while spreading their wings.

Here’s What We As Parents Can Do To Help Prevent Our Teens From Lying to Us –

Starting Early -

 

Parents can model positive behaviors by being truthful with their children when they are young and telling them you expect the same honesty in return. If they catch you in a fib, they justify that it is okay to play the same game, but, over time, they up the ante, especially as young adolescents.

Our children are never too young to understand the concept of being honest. Unfortunately, our society adheres to the philosophy that, at times, it is truly more convenient to lie.

We rationalize that it saves the recipient from unnecessary pain or embarrassment or that it simplifies uncomfortable circumstances by minimizing the process of explaining one’s point of view.

What’s wrong with telling the truth?

It is the projection of how the other person is going to receive the information.

Isn’t that really the case with dishonesty?

Are we not more concerned with the receipt of the information than the delivery? That is exactly the root of problem with our teens sharing the truth. They are hesitant because they don’t want to deal with the reaction to the truth. Teens, like adults, lie for a number of reasons in an effort to avoid confrontation or evade a consequence imposed by their parents.

Let’s identify four of the reasons we, as parents, encourage our kids to lie to us.

1: We Freak Out

No wonder the teen has chosen to go silent when their experience of telling the truth results in us launching off into ranting and raving about the ignorance and carelessness of their actions.

The knee-jerk reaction is to impose consequences or, at the very least, point out how they have made a gross error in judgment. Now, honestly, how excited would you be if every time you shared a new adventure with someone, they scoffed at you? There is a direct correlation between a strict parent or an overly opinionated parent and the degree of dishonesty they will receive from their budding teen.

I believe the overly strict parent, in a genuine effort to curb their teen’s risk of making bad decisions, only fuel the fire. At this age, it is the job, the duty, of the teen to push their limits. They want to challenge their boundaries at every opportunity. It is the parent’s role to establish clearly defined boundaries, based on rational guidelines, and then support the child to make good decisions within the framework of those boundaries.

If you are going to error, I advocate in the direction of listening to your teen about their interest in drinking, for example, and identify the risks and consequences of their decision, rather than encouraging them to be dishonest and put them in greater harms way by forcing them to make decisions from fewer choices available to them that may lead to deception and compromise their health, their safety, and their well being.

For years, I’ve coached parents several ways to stop, listen, reflect, and question without sounding authoritative and provide an environment that encourages dialogue and ownership of the decision making process.

Remember when we used to say to our young children, “It’s very cold outside. Do you think you need a jacket?” The choice was theirs. It is the same principle but, whether we like it or not, now it comes with higher stakes.

The toughest part for most parents is to listen to their teens, respect their point of view, identify a rational reasoning process, and then let them decide for themselves.

2: Practice what you Preach –

If you drink without regard to acceptable limits or moderation, then they will believe the same holds for them. If you demonstrate to them that lying to the door to door salesman is easier or stretching the truth with your friends to ease your own discomfort is okay, they will do the same.

Whether we like it or not, our children are a reflection of who we are. Setting a good example is critical to establishing reasonable boundaries for your teens. If you demonstrate little regard for the rules you establish for your teens, they will place little value on them, too. Simply calling the trump card is not enough; teens, by and large, won’t honor a rule based entirely on the fact that you are their parent and that is the way it is. You will get further if you practice what you preach.

3: Adult Responsibilities come with the Privileges, too –

A teen once told me that his parents expect him to carry his own weight by holding down several jobs. They have taught him to be quite responsible; however, they treat him like a child with curfews and ground rules unfitting a responsible young adult.

Let your teen prove them self.

Take baby steps if necessary but match the level of responsibility you require of them with the level of freedom you grant them to make rational decisions. Wouldn’t you rather be involved in the decision making process now when you are available to coach them rather than having them learn it on their own when they go off to college? As they learn from both good and bad experiences by holding down a job, let them have the same experiences with making decisions in their personal life. That’s the challenge facing most parents of teens but is well worth it in the end.

The Center for Effective Parenting recommends that parents, “discuss why telling the truth is important… telling the truth lets other people know that they can be trusted.”

4: Rules that are Embraced by Teens are Essential –

I don’t think there is a human being alive that gets excited about a restriction that is imposed upon them without having an opportunity for their input.

Developing a process where the teen has an opportunity to take ownership in the family agreements will result in greater adherence than those that are imposed arbitrarily. Granted, there may be rules that the teen may not agree with initially but it is essential that parent’s take the time to rationalize the thought process behind the ground rule. This may require a willingness on both sides to start with a ground rule and be open to renegotiating down the road.

Consideration should be given to the demonstration of the teen’s adherence to the ground rule in a responsible way. Should a new ground rule meet with resistance, begin with a starting point, define a pattern of behavior that would demonstrate responsibility, and establish a timeline for renegotiation where both parties can embrace the ground rule.

Freedom is greatest when the boundaries are drawn.

When I coach parents and teens, I like to promote clearly defining boundaries, establishing agreements that are embraced by both parent and child, and creating a safe environment where honesty and mutual respect is honored.

Parenting teenagers is not an easy task. So, now we know why teens lie to parents, what are you going to do to help you and your teen life a happier… more fulfilled… (and more honest) life? If you are parenting a teenager, today is the time to take action to start setting your teen on the path to success and honesty.

Mark Hughes is an engaging, inspiring, down to earth Parenting and Teen life coaching expert that walks the walk, teaching from his own experiences as a parent and life coach.

In 1994, Mr. Hughes founded a non-profit organization call The Satori Institute with the purpose of making family education more readily available to all segments of the general public.

He is certified as a Family Wellness Instructor and with The International Network for Children and Families as an instructor for their curriculum, Redirecting Children’s Behavior.

Mark specializes in helping newly single parents cope with their new responsibilities and roles as single parents. As a divorced parent himself, Mark provides a unique point of view and insight to newly divorced parents.

In addition, Mark helps teens craft their vision for their the future and helps them lay out the groundwork for striving for and reaching their dreams and goals.

Mark is in his final stages of his new book, “From Our Point of View: The Parent and The Teen, ‘Preparing yourself for independence’.”

Visit http://www.beyourverybest.org for more parenting teens advice, articles, and coaching.

 

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• Problems Between Parents And Teens (1)

Fred and Kate clashed constantly over how to parent their six year-old son, Jerry.

 

“Kate lets Jerry get away with murder.” complained Fred. “It’s anarchy!”

 

“Fred’s always on Jerry’s case.” Kate countered. “He jumps on Jerry for the slightest infraction.”

 

Fred saw Kate’s parenting style as soft while Kate saw Fred’s parenting style as harsh.

 

As the three of us talked in my office, it quickly became clear to me that Fred and Kate had polarized. Fred had become the always-tough parent while Kate had become the always-tender parent.

 

They had driven each other to opposite extremes and this made it impossible for them to function together as an effective parenting team. They were battling over parenting styles, frequently dismissing and sometimes even undermining each other.

 

How did all this effect little Jerry? Sometimes he was confused about where the

Boundaries of acceptable behavior lay and so he would act out to test the limits. Other times, he would try to divide and conquer, to pit one parent against the other in a ploy to get his way.

 

Sound familiar? It might. A high percentage of parents polarize around parenting styles and fight “the parenting wars.” Usually, these battles are over tough parenting versus tender parenting, as with Fred and Kate.  If clashes like this ever happen in your marriage or in the marriage of someone you know, read on.

 

 

1. Insight. The best parenting style for your child is a combination of toughness and tenderness.

If one of you is the tough parent and the other the tender parent, your child needs the best that both of you have to offer.

 

There are times when your child needs toughness, like when he/she is being flagrantly disobedient or disrespectful. There are other times when your child needs tenderness, like when he/she is whining because of feelings of insecurity.

 

Often, your child needs some combination of toughness and tenderness.

 

Tip: Have a conversation with each other in which you recall situations in the past when each of these was effective: toughness, tenderness, or a combination of both.

2. Insight. Your child will feel most secure if you resolve your parenting differences in private and present a united front.

 

To feel secure, your child needs for the two of you to send a single, unified message about which behaviors are acceptable and which are not.

 

The last thing your child needs is to see the two of you fighting over what is and is not acceptable behavior and how to manage him/her. This is a sure-fire recipe for instilling insecurity in your child.

Tip. When you disagree with each other about how to respond to misbehavior, get behind closed doors and don’t come out until you’ve agreed about what to do.

 

When your child misbehaves, you may need to put your child in time out while you privately decide which parenting approach best fits the misbehavior: tough, tender, or a combination of both. From there you should be better able to choose an appropriate consequence.

 

 

3. Insight. What keeps you fighting “the parenting wars” is likely a negative interaction pattern in which you’ve both become ensnared.

 

The most common negative interaction pattern around parenting is the oscillating

Criticize- withdraw cycle. In this pattern you both go back and forth criticizing each other and defending until eventually the two of you withdraw from each other.

 

Each of you then becomes more deeply entrenched in your own position and less able to see the value in the other’s position. You begin to parent independently of each other, each of you doing your own thing.

 

The result- A confused child who acts out more and more!

 

Tip: Escape the oscillating criticize-withdraw cycle be talking about the emotions that lie beneath your surface anger and frustration.

For example, you both might be feeling devalued. It may seem to each of you that the thoughts you have about parenting don’t matter to the other.

 

At a deeper level you both may be thinking, “If my views about parenting don’t matter to my spouse, then maybe I don’t matter.”

 

Talk about these feelings that you don’t count for much with each other. Reassure each other that you really do matter and that your viewpoints on parenting also matter.

 

As you do, chances are you’ll connect at the heart level and each of you will feel more valued by the other. Then you’ll be better able to team up to integrate your tough and tender parenting styles.

 

Having this conversation is very difficult for many couples. If you’re having trouble discussing this, consider seeking professional marriage counseling.

The primary approach that I use in my marriage counseling practice, Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT), is particularly effective at helping couples to break free from negative interaction patterns by carrying on a deeper dialogue with each other.

 

 

4. Insight. Together learn a unified parenting approach that balances toughness and tenderness.

doing this will help you to function more effectively as parenting a team.

 

Tip: Together take the Love and Logic parenting class, developed by Foster Cline and Jim Fay.

This class is offered all across the country to parents who want to learn to parent more effectively by combining love and logic, or tenderness and toughness.

 

A superb Love and Logic instructor in Boulder is Stephanie Bryan, LCSW

 

 

Remember, if you and your spouse continue to fight “the parenting wars” neither one of you will win and your child will surely lose.

 

In their marriage counseling with me, I was able to help Fred and Kate stop battling over their different parenting styles and start balancing toughness and tenderness.

 

The result was that they became more effective parents and Jerry became a better behaved child.

Available Scholarships for Single Parents To Improve their Style of Living In The USA

A family with a single parent as the head of the family is growing in numbers every year. This is said to be caused by parental breakup and unwanted pregnancies. Women are more affected in this situation than men because of the tremendous task of feeding the family and nurturing them emotionally at the same time.  

Families with a single mom are commonly seen in areas wherein unemployment is rampant. Sometimes teenage single mothers are forced to stop their education because no one will take care of their kids and they need to earn to support them. Most single mothers have a lower income capacity.

Because of the increasing rate of single parents, the government, state, and various universities and colleges offers scholarship for single parents especially female single parents who are determined to improve their earning potential, fund for their dorm fees, tuition fees and other related educational expenses.

The primary vision and mission of offering scholarships for single parents are not only to improve the single head future income capacity but also to give hope, improve their confidence and to have determination for their own good and their children.

Scholarship for single parents usually covers the tuition fees, books and other related educational expenses of the successful candidates. Some source of scholarships for single parents also provided restrictions to those who want to avail the scholarships.

Scholarship for single parent are only limited to single parents students with least one dependent child who really needs financial help. A single parent who get a scholarship should not marry during the terms of the scholarship grant.

Single parent students who has the support of her family (willing to take care kids while the parents are in school), may avail of scholarships for single parent full-time. For those single parents who cannot leave their children easily (if they have special kids) may avail of scholarships for single parent that offer part-time class load requirements.

Single parent students covered by scholarships for single parents are being trained to enhance their skills on writing, interpersonal communication and computer. Single parent students are also taught of the learning techniques for success and career exploration.

There is also some sources of scholarships for single parents who are strict in regards to the grade requirement. Every single parent who has been awarded of scholarship for single parent are required a passing grade of 2.5 grade-point averages while others require a 3.0 GPA. There are scholarships that ask for repayment too.

Some scholarships for single parents are strict with regards to the attendance. Single parents are advised to look for scholarships that will give them convenience because they are playing double roles at their home.

There are many courses and programs that single parent may enroll and choose from. Scholarships for single parents are extended to the following courses: accounting course, business courses, computer courses, interior design, health services and office management. A single parent who is good in numbers may choose the accounting course.

Single parents who have the desire to continue their education but lack the financial aid may search for scholarships for single parents online at the websites of universities and colleges or even government websites. You may also call or visit some colleges to check if they are offering scholarship fora single parent like you.

Government and states are also offering scholarships for single parents. Single parents are awarded the amount of tuition, books and dorm for two years until they finish their graduate program.

Single parents who decide to pursue their education must explain to their children the benefit of finishing their studies. Enlighten your childrens’ mind that before you achieve the success both of you must sacrifice for your time will be divided between your studies, work and them.

There is also scholarship for single parents who are aiming to help not only the single students but also their children. This kind of scholarship program facilitates services for their students by taking care of the children while the parent students are in school. This kind of scholarships are limited depending on the funds of the donors of the scholarships.

This kind of scholarship for single parents benefited not only the single parents but also the child itself. They send and educate their single parent student children into preschool and in public school. They also provide childcare for children from 12 months through school age.

By filing for support and establishing a support order, parents can collect payments beyond when a child reaches the age of 18. One of my client was astonished when she began receiving payments and her children where the ages 24 and 28. She had given up but I explained that she did what millions of custodial parents have failed to do and that is to establish a support order. It is very important that when a parent fails to be responsible financial for his/her children, it is then important to file for child support.

When a custodial parent is in the system, regardless of if the noncustodial parent pays or not, an arrear is established and payment will follow when the system finds the parent. I first recommend that both parents discuss what is a fair payment and work together to raise their children. In some cases, this is the best situation and both parents actually do what they say they would do. However, when the noncustodial parent does not live up to the agreement, the next step is to file with the child support enforcement system. I only recommend this because it begins to establish a record of payment and nonpayment and this can work in the favor of both parents, if paid on time.

When asked the question to custodial parents who have not filed for support in the system, why they have not filed, most parents respond that they do not want the father in their children lives. Others respond that the system does not work so why bother. My response is always the same, the system works if you know how to work the system and a child needs the financial support of both parents. I then divulge the biggest secret of the system, financial support of a child has nothing to do with visitation; the two are separate. However, it is then when delving further into the reason why most parents do not rely on the system, most begin to see why it is important to establish record by entering into the system.

One of the biggest fallacies of the child support system for custodial parents is that it does not work. The system works as mentioned before; however, it is the parents in the system that causes it to not to be as functional as it was designed to be. If both parents put first the needs of their children, are being responsible financially, spiritually, and socially and both are actively involved in their children lives then the need of the children are taken care of. The system then works. However, on the other hand, when one parent takes advantage and does not pay, then it becomes harder to enforce the established support order. Moreover, there are some improvement that needs to be made such as making payments accountable for the needs of each child in the system.

One of my clients is very vexed with the system because they cannot find the father. She has given her caseworker his address which is in another state but the caseworker insist that he lives in the same state that she lives in. For over one year, she has not been able to locate the parent. Even though he calls and speaks to his son periodically, he will not give her an address. Therefore, I explain to my client that it is not the system; it is the parent that evades or is reluctant to pay child support. My suggestion to her is to keep the case open and continue to get as much information from the father as possible to report to her caseworker.

When a noncustodial parent does not work a regular job or has his/her own business, it is easy for them to evade and manipulate the system. It is not only their responsibility as a parent to financial support their children, it is also important that they are actively involved in the live of their children. When custodial parents say that they do not want the other parent in their children lives, I explain that is a selfish notion and it should be up to the children. Most parents are emotionally involved with the other parent and the reason for the breakup in the first place is the motivating factor why the relationship is estranged. The relationship that ensues between a mother and a father is different between parents and their children. Only in extreme cases such as the other parent will harm a child shall a parent be restricted from seeing his/her child.

When encountering the child support system, both parents, custodial and noncustodial parent will face four stages: locate the noncustodial parent, establish paternity, establish order and enforce order. Each stage is important and should not be avoided. Sometimes a support order can be established in as short as three months, and others can take years. The more information a parent has to provide to their casework, the quicker and simpler the process becomes. Lack of information such as the address of the other parent or where the other parent works can delay the process.

Filing for support for your children is very important. The financial support that children receive from the other parent is very instrumental in caring and providing for the needs of our children. When custodial parents do not file, they are allowing noncustodial parents to shirk their responsibility. I recommend to parents who say that they do not want the money to open a trust account and save the money and have it available upon graduation from college to their children to provide a fresh start into life.

Here are a few steps to start your order:

o Call your local child support enforcement office to schedule an appointment to open your case. 
o Gather as much information as possible regarding the noncustodial parent such as name, birth date, social security number, address, work name and address, telephone number and each child’s name and social security number. 
o Bring in birth certificate of each child. 
o It may cost to start your case if you are not receiving government assistance. 
o Be patient and contact your caseworker on a regular base to get an update on your case. Whenever you receive additional information on the noncustodial parent, provide the information to your caseworker.

There are no reasons why custodial parents should not file for child support or any reasons why noncustodial parents should shirk their responsibility to their children. It is vital that a support order is establish to keep a record of the amount the noncustodial parent should pay. In cases where payments are not received, the system keeps a record and the amount never goes away until the amount is paid or settled by both parents. Our children deserve both parents’ financial support as well as both parents actively involved in their lives.

Dawnette Lounds-Culp
Publisher/Author
The Face of Child Support
http://www.angeleyespublishingco.com

 

Father’s Rights activists in the USA have been attempting to have Parental Alienation Disorder added to the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM V), the American Psychiatric Association’s “bible” of diagnoses.

Parental Alienation Syndrome explains a child’s estrangement from one parent or allegations of abuse at the hands of one parent by blaming the other. The theory, developed by the late Richard A. Gardner, M.D., portrays the preferred parent as an evil “alienator” who is virtually solely responsible for turning a vulnerable child against their estranged parent. Parental alienation syndrome occurs when one parent’s efforts to consciously or unconsciously brainwash a child combine with the child’s own bad-mouthing of the other parent. In severe cases, the child won’t want to see or talk to the alienated parent.

Parental Alienation Syndrome is a disturbance in the child who, in the context of divorce, becomes preoccupied with deprecation and criticism of one parent, which designation is unjustified or exaggerated or both. Parental Alienation Syndrome arises primarily from a combination of parental influence and a child’s active contribution to the campaign of deprecation, factors which may mutually reinforce one another.

Parental Alienation Syndrome may be divided into three categories – severe, moderate and mild. Although there is actually a continuum, and many cases do not fit neatly into one of the three classifications, the differentiation is important. The alienation of the child is gradual and consistent. It becomes worse if the child has no time with the targeted parent. Time is on the side of the alienating parent. Children who are exposed to Parental Alienation Syndrome may develop mental illnesses; it can have profound long-term consequences. Studies of adults who had been victims of Parental Alienation Syndrome when they were young showed that the Parental Alienation Syndrome impacted on their ability to trust and to believe in things like honesty and openness and those relationships with members of the opposite sex can work. Parents should be able to trust each other but children who had been victims of Parental Alienation Syndrome believed that the alienated parent could not be trusted. The studies showed that, as the persons concerned had grown up and severed ties with the alienating parent, they discovered that many of the things that they had been told by that parent were not true. They discovered that the targeted parent was not as bad as they had been led to believe and, in some cases, that he was in fact ‘a good guy’. The young person then found himself or herself in the position that he or she could no longer trust the alienating parent but at the same time could not trust the targeted parent. In many of the cases, the studies showed that the person concerned was maladjusted and failed in inter-personal relationships. Typically, when a child is aware of the alienation it is not happy.

Parental alienation syndrome is not a gender specific issue. It was once believed women were the main perpetrators of parental alienation, but no longer almost 50% are men. Perpetrators who are men tend to be narcissistic, characterized by a sense of entitlement, arrogance and low empathy. Female alienators often have borderline personalities, marked by insecurities, neediness, a strong fear of abandonment and chronic emptiness.

When it comes to parental alienation the focus should be on the child who has a right to equal time with both father and mother.

Making parental alienation a disorder instead of a syndrome has nothing to do with whether or not you have a “uterus, divorce papers and bruises.” Most mothers put their children’s needs first. Most fathers do the same.

It is trite in family law that the ‘best interests’ of each child is paramount in determining the contact and care of and access arrangements to such child. Such interests have been described as ‘an elusive concept’.

In determining what is in the best interests of the child, the Court must decide which of the parents is better able to promote and ensure his physical, moral, emotional and spiritual welfare. This can be assessed by reference to certain factors or criteria which are set out hereunder, not in order of importance, and also bearing in mind that there is a measure of unavoidable overlapping and that some of the listed criteria may differ only as to nuance. The criteria are the following:

the love, affection and other emotional ties which exist between parent and child and the parent’s compatibility with the child;
the capabilities, character and temperament of the parent and the impact thereof on the child’s needs and desires;
the ability of the parent to communicate with the child and the parent’s insight into, understanding of and sensitivity to the child’s feelings;
the capacity and disposition of the parent to give the child the guidance which he requires;
the ability of the parent to provide for the basic physical needs of the child, the so-called ‘creature comforts’, such as food, clothing, housing and the other material needs – generally speaking, the provision of economic security;
the ability of the parent to provide for the educational well-being and security of the child, both religious and secular;
the ability of the parent to provide for the child’s emotional, psychological, cultural and environmental development;
the mental and physical health and moral fitness of the parent;
the stability or otherwise of the child’s existing environment, having regard to the desirability of maintaining the status quo;
the desirability or otherwise of keeping siblings together;
the child’s preference, if the Court is satisfied that in the particular circumstances the child’s preference should be taken into consideration;
the desirability or otherwise of applying the doctrine of same sex matching;
any other factor which is relevant to the particular case with which the Court is concerned.